Online Dating: Does It Eventually Wear You Down?

In my earlier years of singledom, when I wasn’t fending off the 30’s somethings, who were clearly looking to either snag a cougar or gain a mother figure, I was trying to work out where all the 40 something’s played.  Having a major aversion to online dating (after a pathetic attempt at it in the early stages of my separation), I finally mustered the courage to rejoin the ranks this year, starting with eHarmony then the ever so popular Tinder App.

Now to my surprise there were many other 40 something males playing in the same playground, especially on Tinder. In fact, eHarmony was so scant of any good quality anything, that I gave up on it after only 6 weeks … what a total waste of time and money that was!

So Tinder it was, however, after over 3 months of Tinderversing, I finally got to break point, where I desperately needed a rest from the Dog and Pony show of online dating. In the article I posted by Susan Winters last week, she talks about “Dating 98 men in 9 months”, and concludes it’s just not for her. Well I guess I have now come to that same conclusion.

When I first joined Tinder, a few of my male friends had warned me that this would happen. They said “you get sick of it after a while”.

When I asked why, they said “well you often don’t get to meet “The One”, more just the “The One – for Fun”; or if you’re lucky, you might even make a good friend out of it, but don’t expect to meet Mr Right here”.

So after a few months of starting, stopping and swapping conversations, I realised they were right.  Whilst the numbers were there in droves, the quality of the people I found on Tinder, were … let’s just say, less than appealing as time wore on.

It was now an effort to look, swipe and type, even with red wine and jammies for comfort. The fickle attitudes of most of the daters on this site, and their little white lies about their age or dating agenda, just became too hard to stomach.

Is this what they have warned me about, when you reach Online Dating Fatigue?

Don’t get me wrong, I met some really lovely people on Tinder, and even managed to have a 6 week affair with one, who was living and working here on a temporary visa.  However soon after that ended, due to a conflict in our dating agenda’s, I realised I didn’t have the gumption to continue the charade of looking for someone online anymore.

My experience however wasn’t fruitless, as I got to see how one of the worlds fastest growing online dating sites actually worked, and whilst it was fun for a while, the less than authentic daters wore me down.

So where too now, you might ask?

Well that’s anyone’s guess, but maybe I should take on the advice of the beautiful Stephanie Simons, who only recently launched her book, “All’s Fair In Love and Wardrobe”.  Here she provides us with the rules on Fashion and Dating; and even includes some interesting ideas, such as that of Rule 35:

Whilst this certainly made me LMAO, as I could just imagine a bunch of yummy mummies, still looking fab with their yoga trim bodies, trying to give away their used & crusty ex husbands, but I think for my age group, that’s a “No, thank you”!

I guess that means, it’s back to the drawing board for me then, and whilst I have yet to try some of the other, non online forms of dating, such a speed dating and latin dance dating, then I think I might take a break from the online dating world; just for a while anyway.

Always keen to hear your experiences as always; particularly if you have been worn down by the initial allure of online dating?

Yours Truly

A.R.T

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