Category Archives: Recommended Reading

Any recommended reading or sites

Four Ways To Lose a Woman’s Trust.

I just read this article on the The Good Men Project. Whilst the title of the story grabbed my attention, the content really struck a cord. The author, a single father, blogger and radio presenter known as Showtime, not only opens his story with a great quote, but he closes it with this equally powerful quote.

Lets begin to open our eyes and walk with a spirit of trustworthiness in our relationships.

I liked all four of his points made in this article, and although they are all equally as important as the other, I have bolded what I thought, were the most critical aspects of the issues he raises here.

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1. Talk Down To Her or Belittle Her

A lot of times the things that we say have harsher consequences to those that we are speaking to than the things that we actually do.  How can you expect to be respected in a healthy relationship when the woman can’t even trust you with her feelings and emotions?  The focus of your words should be to uplift and empower her, not to make her feel small or insignificant.  Two things in life that you can’t take back are the stone after its been thrown, and the words after they have been said. Once a woman sees that you are not compassionate and mindful of her feelings she is going to automatically begin to shut down and lose the emotional connection that you shared.

2.  Be Inconsistent

There is nothing that screams dishonesty to a woman more than an inconsistent man.  If you say you are going to do something, do it! If you say you are going to be somewhere, get there! If you say that you know what you want, you better find a way to prove it.  Many times our words don’t match our actions.  We can say one thing today, and by tomorrow we are doing something totally different.  This is a red flag to many women because when they see the inconsistency factor within you they have make the decision that you are not the one to give them the things that they need in a relationship.

3.  Not Communicating Effectively 

You can’t expect to get anywhere in your relationship if there is a lapse in your communication.  The quickest way to end a relationship is by stonewalling and not tackling issues head on.  Making the assumption that someone knows what you are thinking before you tell them is hardly the best way to sustain an emotional connection.  We have to be sure that we are outright while saying what we mean and meaning what we say. This form of unmitigated communication can help us avoid a world of trouble within our relationship if we just take a moment and say what is on our mind.

Also, don’t think that communication is only about how well you speak.  You must also listen with the same intent as you talk.  Don’t just hear what she is saying, allow her words to penetrate your mind and take every word in.  The last thing that a woman wants is to feel like she isn’t being taken serious because you aren’t listening to the things that she says about the matters that she feels are important. –

4. Not Putting Her Needs Before Your Wants

Having the desire to want things to go our way is simple human nature. Most of us want things to go according to our plan because we feel like if they don’t we may be in jeopardy of losing something important. But what happens when you get so caught up in what you want that you forget about what the woman needs?  Many times we allow our desire for certain situations to go in our favor to outweigh our impact of  meeting the needs of the person we care about.  One of the major factors in true love is selflessness. Sometimes you have to walk away from the things that you want in order for the person that you love to get what they need.  Once both individuals begin to project a true spirit of selflessness within the relationships the trust factor will come easily because both people will understand that its no longer about me, but all about we.

Lets begin to open our eyes and walk with a spirit of trustworthiness in our relationships.  That way we can eliminate all of those unnecessary that are holding us back from having the happiness that we deserve.  Give up those things taht are preventing us from growing so that you can be the man that she needs you to be.

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If you want to see the full article, including the opening and closing paragraphs omitted here, then please Click Here  – to go to the good men project

Alternatively, you can find the original story on the http://www.thesinglefathersblog.com/4-ways-to-lose-a-womans-trust/

Yours Truly

A.R.T

 

 

Great Myths About Men Explained

I really liked this article by Paul Thomas Bell. He’s not only a polished writer, but a hell of a lot better than me at being able to articulate his thoughts on paper, and very concisely too I might add.

So I like it and especially Paul’s franc honesty, particularly the bit about the porkie pies men tend to tell, to avoid hurting our feelings; or when they say what they think we want to hear.  It’s frustratingly true, but nice to see all this coming from a man.

Anyway,  thanks Paul.  It’s a pleasurable read, that’s quick too: and who knows, it might even debunk some of those myths about men for at least some of us women out there 🙂

Happy Reading

Yours truly

A.R.T

Being a guy, who knows guys, I unfortunately am all too familiar with some of man’s great failings when it comes to women. I could never claim to have been a perfect boyfriend but every now and again friends, colleagues and often complete strangers will share their stories with me and as much as I am happy to listen occassionally my head falls into my hands with regrettable ease. I could never judge anyone, way too many mistakes made on my part, but are all the negative myths about men actually true? Or perhaps they are just that – myths.

bedroom-black-and-white-couple-cute-love-Favim.com-2807121. We’re only after one thing. I get asked this question constantly and the truth is a bit of both. I know someone who uses online dating and when asked what he’s looking for he is always completely truthful, “a bit of fun.” Hardly the romance you girls were after…

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The Type Of Love Our Society Is Missing

I couldn’t agree with you more James Sama. It’s right in line with my thoughts exactly. Too many people are hiding behind their smart phones, trying to establish or maintain relationships based on talk rather than action. I believe Actions speak louder than words, and being connected to someone requires you to be present with that; something a lot of people just can’t seem to manage in today’s world, where the need for immediate gratification and constant affirmations about what could be, rather than what is, seems more paramount than the actual effort itself.

Highly recommend this to my followers, as it’s what I believe is missing too and Cudo’s to James too, for speaking out loud about what the missing chip in love really is here.

Yours Truly

A.R.T

James Michael Sama

Many of us have different definitions of, and experiences with love. We all grew up in different households with different families under different circumstances. But I think we can all agree that love is a positive emotion felt deeply for someone you care about.

missing1

More specifically:

1. A profoundlytender,passionateaffectionforanotherperson.
2. A feelingofwarmpersonalattachmentordeepaffection,asfor aparent,child,orfriend.
3. sexualpassionordesire.
 
Not only is love being undervalued in our society, it is being pushed down our list of priorities. It is being passed over for ideologies, for possessions, for financial success – yes, all things worth pursuing, but ultimately meaningless if we don’t have anyone to share them with.
 
The thing about love is, it is one of the very few things that all of us share, regardless of where we are…

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